We are at the end of this Shadow Work Journey. This is something I do each autumn and I am always glad I did. I always examine something new I did not know was causing me problems.
I hope you have also taken this time to investigate yourself through meditation. I find it one of the best ways of reaching into my unconscious.
Take some time after this meditation to relax and enjoy your new found wisdom. Eat well, get enough sleep, and treat yourself kindly.
Read through this final meditation and then close your eyes and remember what you can. Enjoy your journey and let yourself go wherever you are led.
Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Find yourself standing in front of a thick hedge. There is a tunnel into the hedge and it looks dark inside. It is time for you to plunge into the final transformation in your shadow work.
Think of one final worry, behavior or thought that you would like to leave on this side of the tunnel. Pick up a nearby rock and think of your worry entering this rock. Allow yourself to detach from the rock. It no longer has any meaning for you. The problem can be handled without worry. The behavior or thought belongs to your past and no longer is helpful.
You may want to kiss the rock before letting it go to acknowledge that the thought, behavior or worry was created for protection. When you feel ready, throw this rock as far away from you into the forest as you can.
Now it is time to face your final trial. Take another deep breath and enter the tunnel in the hedge. It is dark and you move forward by feel.
The hedge pulls a bit at your clothing and occasionally scratches your skin. It feels a bit uncomfortable until you realize that with each pull or scratch you feel lighter. The next time it happens you pause and realize that the hedge is pulling away from you a connection you no longer need or loosening a connection that is too strong. It pulls away from your need to fix everything and preemptively worry about every possibility.
The hedge loosens ties with people that may drain your energy. This does not mean that you have to end contact with them, but it allows you to leave their issues behind when you leave them. It may cause you to end some relationships that cause too much pain.
The hedge pulls away connections to goals you no longer feel are important. It removes cravings for items and experiences that you do not have. It allows you to release your constant focus on the past or the future.
Although the climb through the hedge is uncomfortable. You begin to feel much calmer and are a bit sad when you see light ahead. Continue to push forward and let the hedge open to the light.
You are still within the hedge but you can see the sky above. You are in a courtyard surrounded by the hedge. The tunnel you just left is behind you and across the courtyard is another tunnel. In the middle of the courtyard is a pedestal. What is on the pedestal? Move closer and see.
What blessing has been left for you on the pedestal based on the shadow work you have done over the past few months? Look closely at the item and see if it contains a skill, feeling or thought. Is there a lesson within that you have learned on your journey? Take the item. You may place it in your pocket or it may join your body at your heart.
When you feel ready to complete your journey, enter the tunnel on the other side of the courtyard. The hedge continues to pull away what you are ready to let go of. This tunnel seems much shorter, or maybe the fact that you carry fewer burdens makes it easier. Soon you see light again.
When you climb out of the tunnel the sun shines right down on your face as you stand. You hear music and maybe horns as if your journey is being celebrated. Let yourself feel the joy of accomplishment and appreciate what you have gained. Bask in this feeling.
When you are ready you can return to your physical body. Hear the sounds around you. Wiggle your fingers and toes. Open your eyes.
Take a few minutes to write down notes about your meditation. Journal about the following questions or pull tarot or oracle cards to gain more insight.
What are you so attached to that it causes you pain?
Are there past goals you need to let go of?
Can you be happy with what you have right now?
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Take Care,
Jessica Cross
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Jessica Cross 
As I’ve said before, it’s very hard for me to let go of anything, it is part of my nature, something that I don’t think will ever change. As I think about it, it may be related to the often tenuous hold that I have on my own psyche, my own desires, which came about because of people trying to influence me on what to think when I was very young. If that sounds confusing, I’d rather not explain any further, it’s a very long story. I go with the hope that certain heartaches, the need to certain goals, will pass on their own. It does happen sometimes. After a while, I wake up in the morning and the feeling, the desire, the need to achieve a goal is gone. It may be that the grief over those lost goals comes out again when I fail to achieve a new goal – it does explain why experiencing certain losses is harder than ever as I’ve aged.
I know that I have past goals that I should let go off, yet they are so central to my personality now that I can’t possibly let them go without a total personality change, and that might cause other problems. For most of them, I have long since thought that they are impossible to achieve, but the longing that brings them back into my mind still arises.
I think that I can be happy with what I have, or at least avoid being truly despondent ever again. It’s hard to come to a certain answer on that right now: it is terribly cold here (-3 with a wind chill of -21), my front door lock has frozen open, a terrible year is ending but there is no reason to think that the next year will be any better, and it has the potential to be much worse. I am also concerned since it’s part of my nature to believe that all happiness is fleeting, and misery is always nearby. Yet I hope that I have enough tools to avoid total despondency, as I’ve faced in the past, again.
Happy New Year to you and your family, and may 2018 be a wonderful year for you.
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Happy New Year to you as well. I am always sending you my love and hope that things are good for you.
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